Offer details & such: a ‘little’ Schticky – $19.95 + $7.95 S&H. BOGO: a ‘big’ Schticky – $5.95 P&H. Sales tax: FL & CA. Guarantee: Not that would could find but, let’s face it, you’re buying it because it’s Vince Offer!
I don’t know whether to praise the depths to which Vince took his latest “Schtick,” or just sit facepalming my forehead on this keyboard for the next few hours. Wow, he even made the product name a schtick. Damn that man. Billy dies of heart failure and Vince couldn’t have caught a little chlamydia while schticking it to that whore? Seriously?
Either way, congratulations, Vince Offer, when the ERA finally makes an As Seen on TV Hall of Fame, you’ll have to get inducted. The marketing for the revamped lint roller is just brilliant. Teeters on unconciounable, but plumb f*****’ brilliant.
But will anyone give a schtick? Ok, that was a stretch. We know. Sorry.
What Is a Schticky?
It’s a goshd****d lint roller. For example, we have a paper lint roller at home that the whole house uses. Once it’s filled up, all we have to do is tear off the top layer of stick paper and throw it away and keep going. We love it. And I don’t ever recall spending close to $100 a year on them – even with three godforsaken cats tearing up the place. But Vince, oh noooooo. He had to up and find SPECIAL silicone to make the lint roller. All you have to do is rinse it off when you’re done. “Slippery when wet, sticky when dry.”
But, Hell, the product is about Vince. It’s about his return and it’s about the fact that the fact that the marketing is so tongue-in-cheek audacious that people will switch calling all like products, “paper lint rollers,” and rename them Schtickys. Because of Vince, they’ll now be paper Schtickys. It’s a given.
Could you imagine Anthony Sullivan saying, “problem with that shedding pussy?” Yeah, only one pitchmen can get away with that. The same guy who can put himself in a police photo scene at the end of the infomercial and you’ll understand what he’s doing. And laugh WITH him. If anything, Vince knows his schtick and he’ll be schticking it to us all the way to the bank, again.
Benefits, Claims & Features
According to schticky.com, Schticky claims the following features and benefits:
- works on wool, velvet & most everything between
- works on multiple surfaces
- gets pet hair
- attacks cobwebs & curtains
- “slippery when wet, sticky when dry,”
Does Schticky Work? Complaints, Frauds, Rip-Offs, Scams…
Order Process: Well, the smartest thing they’ve done with the order process is to blend in the BOGO so it sounds like all you have to pay for the big Schticky is the processing and handling fee. Sounds better than, “separate shipping.” Someone was really thinking during this product development meeting.
Product Performance: The trick in getting a good review for Schticky is finding someone who isn’t spending so much time getting over the fact that Vince hasn’t been killed by a pimp or the disbelief that he snuck back out from the depths of Hell to get another product going with such an audacious pitch. For example, Infomercial-Hell.com (whose schtick is deconstructing infomercials) had all sorts of wonderful insight about the depths of marketing and the lack of originality for the product concept. And, speaking of copying Billy Mays products, Sully’s got OxiClean. If Vince’s thinking about copying that, there’s got to be a joke in there about being schticky in a hotel room with a prostitute that a cleaning product can clean up.
But it’s obvious: many people just can’t get enough Vince. Maybe he can win the Republican nomination.
Back on Point
As for the product itself, it’s still early and we’re hoping our faithful community will inform us if it changes but we haven’t seen much in the way of issues with the product performance – yet. We’re waiting to see. We do want to know how a “special silicon” is going to go from wet and slick to dry and sticky. That doesn’t even make sense. And if it does work, how long could the product possibly last? It’s counter-intuitive logic. But once we know we’ll send along the information.
Customer Service:
Phone: 1-877-378-8211
Email: Schticky@webcsr.info
Please Let Us Know Your Thoughts!
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